Thursday 22 January 2015

Pigeon-attack!

Pigeons (n): an idiot species often confused as 'birds'; lives in buildings, are full of shit - one organism can shit-bomb an entire car, single ass-edly; no sign of intelligence has been so far been reported among this common-place species. Upon observation, one may well be reminded of certain human groups, who, suprisingly, may be defined as above.

My musings over pigeon behaviour has been a result of me whiling away my time by
A. sitting in a coffee shop, with a view of the bustling street outside

B. Sitting on my bed, looking out of the window where, much to my annoyance, a pigeon(s) would often sit

C. Others, like: I once saved a pigeon's life by bringing my car to a screeching halt when I suddenly noticed it was "crossing" the road. I was taken aback at the sight of a bird walking! I helplessly honked;it scurried and zigzaged out of the way. The.bird.was.walking.!

Once I even taught a pigeon to fly! It was sitting on the window sill, ready to shit-bomb. I immediately ran and made wild gestures and loud sounds to make it fly away. It "ran" from one end to the other and back again, not knowing what to do. I bit my upperlip, calmed myself, and just pushed it off the sill (¡facepalm!). It almost fell to the ground but then it realised the power of its own wings.

Jokes apart, these species is known to have pushed the real birds out of their habitats, and are the bullies of the bird world. So guys, please, do not encourage the breeding of pigeon communities. They also spread illness among humans.

Over.and.out.

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